Thursday, September 27, 2007

I Don't Want To Grow Up...

I always knew growing up would be hard. As a kid I never said “I can't wait to grow up", all I ever wanted was for my parents to stop asking me questions. According to my father I will never get old enough to reach that What does it mean to grow up? I definitely have no clue because I think I am still a kid at heart.

Does it mean you pay your own bills?

Does it mean you can no longer cry when things go wrong?

Does it mean accepting reality whether you like it or not?

Does it mean getting married and having kids?

Does it mean you no longer act childish?

I really don’t know what it means I am still on the search for the answer myself. However, what I do know is, growing up or being grown is hard. Maybe someone did warn me about growing up and I didn't listen to them. Is it that I am spoiled and that is I why I don't want to grow up? Luckily, I always have people in my life to remind me of the fact that whether I want to grow up or not, I have to, because this is real life, not a fairytale. (You know who you are)

Ok, folks I would like for you all to tell me what your definition of being grown is, once I read your comments maybe I will have a better idea...

Until next time on “The Journey of Ms. Devereaux"

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Days Of My Life...

I know it’s been while since I have been on here so I have alot to update you on. How are all my readers doing? Over the last couple of weeks I have...

Finally went to DUSTIES!!!! My favorite soul food resturant

Attended a school activity called "Big Mouth" its like a talent show, but it was very interesting almost ghetto didn't know so many black kids attended Columbia. The best performances was a girl who did an amazing poem, and this he/she (born as a man, but look and dress as a woman) with his dancer, they performed Beyonce song “Freakum Dress” I wish I had it on tape, I can’t began to describe how good the he/she was, oh yeah not to mention his hair was flawless. Of course I asked him what he put on his hair to get it so straight. There was a guy who had the phrase “Free Jena 6” cut in the back of his head, I thought that was cool

Someone told me Bible stands for: Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. Maybe you all have heard of this before but I thought it was pretty cool

I attended Sabbath dinner with the youth at the church here, great food, interesting conversation, it was cool but of course I miss my Grace Temple family.

I still like my job it’s so funny to talk to people; customers call in to argue for anything. One lady threw a complete fit about $2.00 when it cost her more to have that conversation about the $2.00. One individual wanted to know why he was charged .05 more than the amount quoted. Also they seem to have a hard time spelling Tia which is the name I go by. I get upset most when people ask for a phone number and when you give them the number they always say" hold on let me get a pen" what have you been doing all this time I was talking. Whew, sometimes these people make me laugh and crazy at the same time. For those of you who worked in call centers you know what I mean.

I joined the Black Student Union, and Columbia College Association of Black Journalist. We have an event already planned that’s kind of exciting.

My "I Have a Dream" moment happen last week when I attended the Jena 6 march with BSU at my school, it was a great turn out, and exciting to witness people join together for an important cause. We listen to a few speakers then marched around the Daley Center (I think that is the name) honestly folks I couldn't imagine marching back in the day when it wasn't as peaceful as I experienced that night. I can't explain how I felt but it was definitely an extraordinary experience.

There is a cutie at my school gym; do you think that will make me go work out now? Hmmmm

I haven't had any random stranger run-ins

I have been foolishly wearing heels around the city, I look sexy I think, but it hurts sometimes, women have it so hard or maybe its just women who by cheap shoes…LOL

I have been going to the wrong class for the first two it wasn't funny at first until it was all straighten out.

I left my keys at home yesterday and I was standing at the door of my building, this guy comes out and tells me he couldn't let me in. At first I was upset since my day begins at 6am and doesn't end until 10pm on Monday and Tuesday, but I know security is more important.

I want to go see some movies I haven't seen anything lately ya'll know I always saw everything that hit the theater... no reason for saying this it is just random thought

Oops I went shopping and I officially love thrift stores I got a jacket, shirt, a pair of jeans, and a scarf for $20.00. Is that still considered shopping?

I don't like reading out loud anymore, in my fiction writing class we have to read out loud, and when its my turn I sound like a 2nd grader reading. I do know how to read maybe it was just that day.

Oh yeah I went to a comedy club with my cousin and some friends. Those who know me know that I laugh loud. Well it was only 4 blacks in the whole club and the black comedian kept calling us out, of course it didn't help that I was laughing loud, but they were hilarious. I need a cute girly I still had a BLAST I want to go again.

Well that’s all folks until next time on "The Journey of Ms. Devereaux

Don't Look Back...

Recently, I notice myself falling into some of my old ways. I believe it started when I went home Labor Day Weekend, maybe it was too soon to return home. For a brief moment over the last few weeks I think I have taken my eyes off the prize. My light bulb moment happen yesterday when I received my grade on an assignment, trust me it was awful and no you will never know the grade. Anyway I have the tendency to always remember the way things or people were back in day. This thought process allows me to move forward but not as far because I consistently look back. I don't think I like change to much either, its weird since my entire life has been nothing but change, really I don't like people changing on me but it happens. When I made this move I planned on making some positive change, and at first that was happening with no problem. You know it’s a daily fight to try and improve yourself, and let me tell you for me it’s extremely hard. I believe it is ok to look back for lessons learned, but not when those memories will hold you back from moving forward with life. With all this said I am getting my focus back on track and looking at the light at the end of the tunnel. My grades shouldn't look HORRIBLE anymore, and if it does for some insane reason then I can't tell you what I am going to

Until next time on "The journey of Ms. Devereaux

Monday, September 10, 2007

100 Questions...

OMG!!! I went to my second class today "Grammar for Journalist". We all know I am in desperate need of this class, so I am extremely excited about learning. My teacher is a black lady whose worked in Journalism for the last 20yrs. She worked with the major publications here in Chicago and currently does freelance writing, she know what she is talking about. Today, of course we went over class expectation, everyone told a little about themselves, and blah, blah, blah. Then tragedy strikes, she hands out a diagnostic test to show our level in class. Those of you who are familiar with my testing abilities know I immediately PANIC when I got the test. I HATE TEST!! I begin to stress, sweat, pick at my face, pop my gum (smacking), just completely losing it. I don't do well on test, and this will definitely change. The test had 100 grammar questions on it. Ya'll I had to take the teacher outside (I felt so embarrassed) after reading over the questions and let her know I didn't know any of the information on the paper. I asked if maybe I should be in a remedial class, because I didn't know anything. She explained to me it was just to see our level, that I am probably not the only one, and just do my best. After taking the test, my class went over the answers and I wasn't the only brilliant-idiot. Even though I may have only gotten 6 answers right, I wasn't the only one that missed numerous questions. Once I realized we all were struggling I felt better, knowing that by the end of this semester I will write on alot better. (I hope)

Most of the things we covered I don't remember discussing since 6th grade in Language Arts class. Where has my mind been since then? I wonder why my English teachers in high school never noticed my problems. It's funny how we can skate though life without noticing certain problems until it becomes a major hurdle. I know I have a few struggles that I am working on and ask that you all pray for me. Out of everything I have experienced in life returning to school, and readjusting my entire life on so many levels is by far the hardest, exciting, and scary life event yet. I know God will help me through this, because I can't stop, I have to GRADUATE!!!

Until next time on "The Journey of Ms. Devereaux"

Friday, September 7, 2007

Maybe it's just me...

Lately, I feel as though I have been on an emotional rollercoaster. Don't mistake this for complaining, because I have absolutely nothing to complain about. Life is great I couldn't have put myself at a better place at this point in my life. Over the last couple of week’s alot has happen so let me catch you up. Oh yeah, where are my manners how are my readers doing? It's really a great joy to know there are people who are interested in reading your thoughts. At first I thought no one would be interested, but to my surprise there are quite a few readers. Thank you for reading my blog; honestly it’s just my boring little thoughts. Ok enough sensitive talk back to the events of my life...

Funny Moments: Yesterday Laila Ali (Muhammad Ali daughter) was filming something across the street from my job. Of course I am nosey so I was looking and trying to walk at the same time, I tripped and almost fell but I caught myself. I attempted to play it off but a couple of people saw me and asked if I was

This morning I was listening to Steve Harvey and walking to work. Steve Harvey is crazy so for a moment I forgot I was around other people, he said something so funny I began laughing out loud (ya'll know my country laugh) like I was at home alone in front of the TV. After I realize what I did, I looked around and this guy asked if everything was ok. He thought I was crying, for a moment I was almost embarrassed. We ended up having a good conversation on the way to work. Of course he made me miss the rest of Steve Harvey Morning Show but I guess that is ok.

I went home for Labor Day Weekend, although I had a good time I do remember why I left in the first place.

Oh, for those of you who don't know I do have a job and I like it. I am looking for 3 more jobs so I can afford to live here...LOL Can you believe they are going up on transportation, hence the reason I walk to and from work everyday. I am cheap and need to get in shape!

I went to my first class this week. It was 4 hours long, I couldn't imagine what we would discuss for 4 hours but time flew by. It is a Fiction Writing course I am taking because; I have been working on a book for a loooooonnnnnnnggggg time and would like to finish it. The class really allows you to pull your creativity onto the paper so your audience can grasp the picture you are painting with your words (I LOVE THAT). At first I felt a little intimidated because everyone else work was so great. I talked to one of my close friends and she said I scare easy and should be glad to be around young people who have fresh ideas. (Ok, I didn't think about it like that) Monday I'm taking my "Grammar for Journalist" class, we will see if I learn something if my grammar on my blogs improve then that means I am getting my monies worth.

I wonder do I expect too much from people. In my mind I give people my all but I don't feel I get the same in return all the time (maybe payback for what I did). That's fine I guess everyone is different and doesn't play by the same rules of life. I hold different people to certain standards and expect that they will live up to them (I guess they really don't have too). Ok I get it now I should allow people to be who they are, life does go on! Wheeeew for years I have been losing it because I felt misused, I understand I think, people are not going to always treat you the way you treat them and today I am glad to say that's OK. That’s life! I am not mad at anyone for being who they are; I just have to learn to accept people for who they show me to be. At that point, I determine whether to have them in my life or remove myself from those individuals.

I ate so well when I went home last weekend that was great! It was so good seeing everyone.

Last night I was going back and reading my old journal entries from 2005 in my diary. I couldn't believe how so many of my thoughts back then have manifested themselves now. Without certain events happening I wouldn't have ever made it here. I believe keeping a journal is the best thing a person can do. It allows you to witness your own growth. I have journals from 1997 that I use to read, the issues I had then were so meaningless but funny. If you don't keep a journal start, there are some thoughts in 2005 that I definitely no longer believe in 2007.

Do any of ya'll know the story behind honey-devereaux? If not, I might have to give you the breakdown on it one day.

Well that is all I can remember right now I am going to go home and get ready for church in the morning. Did ya'll like the song I put on here by Fantasia I love that song I listen to it everyday. I am going to play it at my graduation “I’M HERE" it drives my cousin crazy but after years of hearing it he will sing with me soon....LOL!

Until next time on the Journey of Ms. Devereaux

I miss you...

I remember when we first met; it was a day I will never forget. Someone I knew thought enough of me to introduce us. I miss you dearly, I think about you all time. I spent alot of time, money, and late nights with you. Whenever we are together you always smelled great. Sometimes when I was alone it would cheer me up knowing I could be with you. Who would have thought we wouldn't enjoy each others company anymore. There isn't anything that could ever replace you. I've searched high and low for something that would resemble you, yet I have come up empty handed. Nothing could ever replace you, the #6 Spicy Chicken Sandwich at Wendy's with lettuce, cheese, onions and a medium root beer. Man I miss that sandwich; ya’ll I have no clue where a Wendy's is around this city. I'm glad I could share the memory of my beloved sandwich with you guys.

I know who most of ya'll thought I was talking about....LOL