Thursday, January 24, 2008

But She's WHAT ?!?!... (click on the words in orange)

She IS...

EVERYONE she meets loves her, and the list goes on, but most of all…she loves and respects her black man.

Let me tell you just a little more about her, she has blonde hair, blues eyes, and pale skin. That's right, she is WHITE! Yep, a Caucasian -- for you educated folk!

Wait...before you let your blood pressure get high, let’s take a moment and sort this whole interracial relationship (mainly Black Man/ White Woman) thing out. First, I personally have never paid attention or cared about interracial relationships. But, I did think that no one could care or understand a black mans struggle and pain like a Black Woman could. However, you all know that being in Chicago has opened my eyes to things that didn't cross my mind in TX.

Countless times I watch Black Women get emotional when they see Black Men with White Women and you can see the steam bursting from their ears. It seems to be extremely enraging for educated, strong, beautiful, and kind Black Women to see a Black Man with a White Woman. On the other hand, however, it is extremely painful or annoying for a Black Man to walk pass countless Black Women and get a cold shoulder or narrowed eyes, as I have observed numerous times (not everyone, so don’t take it personal).

Plenty of times I have asked (and some of you also) Black Men this question, "Why would you get in a relationship with a White Woman?” The common response is "less drama.” We can argue all day on whether or not that is true. What I have noticed is that white women tend to be friendlier, more open, easy going, and generally non-confrontational. I know your response "White Women don't have the same struggle as we Black Women do, so that’s why it’s easy for them to be friendly.” Is this really a true response? Being polite and cordial with a smile is a choice.

I think we should be more open to love verses color. Also, we need to take a look at ourselves before getting upset at someone else’s preference. So I ask...

When you first started reading this post did you think she was Black?

So she’s White, does it matter if she gives all that to her man?

What are your thoughts on this type (Black Man/White Woman) relationship?

Is he CRAZY to let this White woman go, just because she doesn't fit someone else's mold?

Are we driving our Black Men away?

Faithful readers I want to ‘hear ya’ on this subject, as it’s a huge concern for Black Women (and White Men). And, I am very interested in hearing what your have to say. Men PLEASE respond. Folks, tell me if I wrong about this.

Until next time on “The Journey of Ms. Devereaux"


ErynMyisha said...

hmmm ok..let's see...girl you are taking me back to those atx convo's we all used to

i wouldn't have guessed she was white, but race didn't cross my mind.

i've recently fallen in lust with everything about latin men so i can't really be a hypocrite.

i've dated outside my race too and it was VERY different. there was more communication and definitely less drama, but there's nothing like a black man.

i don't care who a black man dates, i just don't appreciate when he is shitting on black women. i don't care what your preference is, but don't categorize EVERY black woman b/c you ran across a few bad ones. there are bad eggs in every race.
but just because a woman is not black, doesn't mean she's automatically perfect. and it goes vice versa.

The Love Grinch said...

Hi Ms. Dev,

I'm a long time reader, first time responder.

Concerning interracial relationships, where should I start? Oh, just be glad the dude likes girls!!!

For the chicks (and I use that word as a general term for all women)that are caught up in race relations, you've got another problem. If your black man likes white, hispanic, asian, etc., at least there is still hope for you! You should be more concerned about if that guy likes women, period.

If he is one of those males that only date one specific race... so what? In your mind, he just missed out on something good. At the same time, you never know what a person has been through. I have been through enough experiences that would make a man give up on sistas all together. Unfortunately, I love those chicks.

I don't discriminate either. I've dated women from just about every race, creed, continent (except Antartica). I'm trying to catch them all... like Pokemon. I just need a Hindi Indian chick and a real Native American (red dot and feather), to complete my collection.

The point I am making is that woman are generally the same; whomever they may be wherever you go. The BIGGEST difference I've seen is how American women treat their man verses women from other cultures. Trust, there are differences.

I am not going to make this exceptionally long and drawn out with talking about flaws, and faults in women, because men are just as if not more mucked up than you. The only advantage we have is that there are less of us than there are of you ladies. I just wonder why most of the parties/clubs I go to there are more men than women? Anyway...

My only suggestion is that we should start with ourselves as to why we are not where we want to be. Perhaps we should examine how we treat the opposite sex verses how the "others" treat theirs?

Do black women push black men away? A lot of them do. That doesn't mean you have to. You may be that bastion of hope that keeps that successful, well groomed brotha holding on. Just keep that in mind the next time you walk by brotha man and his snow bunny. If your body language is negative and he doesn't even know you, why would he even want to?

How you love that,
The Love Grinch

Anonymous said...

Interesting....I used to be deeply hurt when I say a BMW with a WF. I felt it a direct insult to the black sisterhood.I also realize any female can fake it for awhile. No the motto "Love whomever or if ever you want to love...great!" You are blessed.

I found that there are wonderful black and white women that fit that description provided but it doesn't mean they will every be appreciated for these qualities or have a meaningful longterm relationship. So, I say love whomever, but I still have my preference. Don't forget sometimes no matter how nurturing you are...some people are meant to be alone. Just don't settle for anything and don't let easy sex be your motive for the preference. You might get caught up and hurt a really nice gal. The grass is not always greener...remember it is still grass.

Sunshine said...

lol I thought you were talking about me actually, I know that sounds alittle self centered but I saw me no color just me Cali... but you know how I feel, as long as you make your man feel respected, appreciated, and desired then who cares what color you are. ITs about making him happy. If he loves you and is an upstanding man he will reciprocate the same behavior.

Keisha said...

Actually, like someone else said, I pictured myself. Sorry, its just the truth:) Anyhow, I also did not picture a race. I believe a woman of any race can have all or some of those characteristics and still be the perferct one for her man. If a black man dates a white woman simply because they connect, and he's in love with her, i say spread the love. If he cant stand black women because he sees them all as agressive and mean, then he may have some issues to work out and some elightening to go through. I personally love men. Period. I love the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, the Indian. They are all such marvelous creatures! anyhoom If my soul mate happens to be white or Indian or whatever race, at that point, our souls will be too happy to notice that they are colorless anyhow. I do have a penchant for the black man. But I am not limited to him. Its just important that our reasons for not dating someone from a particular culture are not based on sweeping generalizations and stereotypes. Get to know the person for who they really are.I just want my black brothers happy, and if white chick makes him happy. Go for it. Now its us black women to examine why that would make us angry. Is it a security issue? Are we looking down on our black men? Are we doing right by them? Let each individual do their part and not worry about who other people are dating.

Wonderful Unknown! said...

I feel that color is never an issue. The only issue I would see is with black men who make the statement, "I ONLY date white women". I would view this as a statement of ignorance.

Dat dude said...

Love (and, appreciation, consideration, selflessness, etc) are hard enough to find in this world.

So, if a person is fortunate enough to find ANYONE that can provide such support, then he/she should count that as a blessing and move forward!

The group that made interracial relationships an 'issue' in Western Civilization are WHITE MEN -- and those dudes date and marry ANY female they want to, all day, everyday.

Lover of All Races said...

Yes by FACT Women of different races act totally different from each other, but no matter what race Woman I date ? As long We both get along & She does'nt represent Satan or the Anti-Christ I have no problem with her. Yes White Women are less negative in many way & yet I've never used those reasons to chase after a white woman. Most times I've been with a Black Woman but I totally try to avoid all negative Black Women. I've noticed many Negative Black females open up easily to very wealthy Men. Many black females tend to reserve themselves for that Man of her dreams, but most times for many white women, it was a love at 1st sight moment, unlike a black female who is more observant when she meets or falls in love a white woman does'nt care if the Man was a Devil from until its too late. ANYWAY BESIDES THESE FACTS ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS..AS LONG AS WE GET ALONG & SHE IS A GOOD WOMAN IN MY LIFE, GOOD MOTHER FOR OUR CHILDREN ? HER COLOR SHOULD NOT BE A PROBLEM. BUT WE MUST ALL BE AWARE OF ANYONE WHO HATES ANOTHER COLOR, WE NEED TO LIVE IN TRUE PEACE & IF RACES CAN'T BLEND IN THE NAME OF TRUE LOVE ? WHAT ARE WE LIVING FOR ? NOT SAYING EVERYONE MUST TRY FIND SOMEONE FROM ANOTHER RACE, BUT WE ARE HUMAN & BY WRIGHT WE MUST LOVE EVERYONE NOT FOR SKIN COLOR AS I HAVE DONE ALL MY LIFE

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