Sunday, December 28, 2008

Favorite Poems/Quotes...

We Wear the Mask,

We wear the mask that grins and lies,

It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,- -

This debt we pay to human guile;

With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,

And mouth with myriad subtleties[1].

Why should the world be otherwise,

In counting all our tears and sighs?

Nay, let them only see thus, while

We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries

To thee from tortured souls arise.

We sing, but oh the clay is vile

Beneath our feet, and long the mile;

But let the world dream otherwise,

We wear the mask!

This is one of my favorite poems. I learned so many growing up but my favorites were "On The Pulse of Morning" by Maya Angelou and this one by Paul Laurence Dunbar. I love to read and I have been creating a list of quotes that cater to my different emotions which often times help me stay focus.

What are your favorite poems and quotes?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

How Can I Trust You?

During my RA training in Aug. we did plenty of team building activities which required us to put a great deal of trust into each other. The concept was to teach us to be there for each other during the school year. While participating, I came to the conclusions that for my teammates it wasn’t about building trust; it was more so about getting everything right and winning the game. Life is a game, and in this game we have to trust people. We are taught this lesson at an early age. We trust our parents, relatives, friends, and mates. Often I hear that the phrase ‘I love you’ should not be thrown around so easily, but I think we should guard our trust the same way.

I was taught at an early age to trust no one but God. Although I have people in my life that I have known for countless years, I still have a hard time totally trusting them. My guardian angel taught me that at times it is ok to trust, because there are people who do have your best interest at heart. I have learned to trust people to be who they are, based on what they have shown me. Maya Angelou said…When a person shows you who they are, believe them.

Trust is an enormous commitment, yet people throw it around so freely. Betrayal is difficult to survive, but it is a part of life. If you have faith in God, you tend to assume the best about people. But I wonder… Is it possible to betray one individual but be loyal to another? The best kept secret is the one untold…right?

The thought of trusting people bothers me. I really don’t like doing it because just like all of us I don’t like to be hurt. Over the last six months I have witnessed individuals do some terrible things to destroy people’s lives that TRUSTED them. Whenever I witness this I tend to guard my heart that much more. Plenty of people trust me because I am and have been loyal to them, but I wonder if deep down inside I can’t trust others because maybe I can’t be trusted…

What does trust mean too you? Can YOU really be trusted? Once the trust is broken how do you ever get it back?

Until next time on’ The Journey of Ms. Devereaux’

Monday, December 15, 2008

Nights Like This...

* Nights like this... I wish rain drops would fa- ha- ha-ha-alll*- Eddie Cain

It is extremely windy and rainy tonight. I am sitting here with my legs kicked up on my desk, looking out of the window at the Sears Tower thinking about how crazy this last week has been. At last, the semester is over and most of my students are gone. I actually thought I was going to lose my mind this week. Let me tell you all what happened:

- I lost my flash drive with ALL my work on it! Including my final that was due on Monday. I had to redo the entire thing! Check out the finished product...

- I found out I can’t get a grant from my school that they promised me because the school
won’t give me anymore institution funds. They are covering my housing because I work as an RA, now I am going to get deported back to TX! Still praying for a miracle…

- My dance teacher was very proud of me, I truly did much better than I anticipated; considering it is a dance school and I have no rhythm or coordination.

- I interviewed an 11yr old aspiring writer for my radio interviewing class. She was incredible! Everyone loved her and most of all she was ecstatic about it!

- Saturday I couldn’t stop crying and I’m really not sure why. I guess the thought of going home was setting in.

- Church was great on Sabbath. Glad I went.

- My dating life has but faded from my rearview… The two guys I’m digging, I feel like I should fallback on. I don’t think it will turn into anything serious. One is definitely sexy as hell to me…whew!

- Friday night my friend took me to an incredible Jazz Gospel Messiah concert. I have never experienced such an musical event in my life! It was like Handel meets Gospel. That was an excellent way to end my stressful week!!!!

Now I plan on relaxing and figuring out my next move in life, I really need to re-evaluate myself and the people around me. I definitely do not plan on going home for the holidays which is fine with me. Although I had the next 3yrs planned out things always change. People always say you should plan and set goals. Then they turn around and say live each day like it’s your last. Then they say take it one day at a time, don’t look so far into the future. Blah blah blah… Who the hell are THEY anyway? So I decided for myself and based on things that I have witnessed this year in my life and others around me that I will plan for the next 6months to a year. I know what I would like to see happen in the next 5yrs, but right now it’s just not possible for me to plan that far ahead.

Question of the post: Do you find future planning helpful and if so, how far do you planning ahead?

I will blog more often now that I am on break so stay tuned and keep checking for more updates.

Until next on "The Journey of Ms. Devereaux"

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Be Right Back...

I know I haven't blogged in awhile, and may have lost my audience. But after finals and all my residents check out, I will be back over the x-mas break with more post. I have noticed everyone (other bloggers) is talking about their relationships lately. I don't think I'm ready to put that type of information out there, but I know I will come up with something.

Until then stay tuned...