Sunday, January 18, 2009

The Game...

In every relationship, the person least interested in maintaining it is going to dominate it, because they'll never compromise-Terrance Howard.

Terrance Howard made this statement in the movie Idlewild .Then, I did a google search and found the same concept in The Corsini Encyclopedia of Psychology and Behavioral Science. This is a very true statement. I think more so when you first start dating a person. If you are serious about someone, I would say don’t apply this rule. But, if you are just out here in these streets meeting different people you have to play this game.

Women have to play this game more than men because we are emotional creatures and can sometimes get caught up. Older women always say let men chase you and don’t give in so easy. When you do this they tend to act better. Whenever there is no commitment involved in a situation it is best for a woman to show little interest. That way she can tell if a man is really digging her. Some men will argue the case that they don’t chase or think they should chase women. But reality is, men do like to chase women .

Over the last 2 1/2 years of my singleness I have been dating, I think have shown too much interest too soon in the guys I really liked, and ended up with the short end of the stick. The others I showed least interest in were always willing to be flexible, and I had more control. I realized that I really don’t like dating. I think I might even be a little anger behind some of my most recent experiences. It is hard for me to deal with people (read:men) not being honest and upfront with me. My cousin tells me all the time that men always feel like they have to think for women. So it doesn’t matter if I tell a man that I can take the truth, he is usually not going to be honest with me. He thinks I am like every other woman, and can’t handle the truth.

Just this past week I had a guy, who I’ve been kicking it with for over a year girlfriend call me. This really pissed me off, but I had small warning signs before the destruction. I just didn’t listen. I don’t understand what hell was so hard about saying, “Hey Ms. Dev. I got a girlfriend.” I hate being caught up in drama. What if instead of calling me that girl would have just ran up on me in these streets because she seen me with her lying ass dude. She would have tried to jump on me thinking I knew about her.

Dating is getting way to crazy for me, and I need to listen to my gut instinct more. I’m seriously tired of dealing with foolishness and want something serious. I don't play games and I can't deal with people that do. I have no tolerance for anything else. Now, I will just patiently wait, look inside myself to see why I am attracting damn fools, and definitely not do the things I did in the past.

Until next time on ‘The Journey of Ms. Devereaux.”

Friday, January 2, 2009

Reader Submission...

Happy New Year Folks!! I don't have any resolutions other than to be the best person I can be. I spent new years alone for the first time which was cool with me. Hope you all have a safe and happy year. One of my readers sent me this email below and wanted feedback from my lovely readers.

Ms. Devereaux,

Once again I am in need of your help. I have a topic I would like to get some answers on. Why are men visible people? They claim they want a real woman someone who will not lie to them, someone they can trust, someone to be their friend but yet they always want the women who are skinny and superficial. They look at your outsides before they get to know you. Are there any good BLACK men out there who really want what they ask for?